Ahhh...the wonders of sleeping. I felt so good and i managed to finish up most of the things i aimed to do today! *sense of achievement*
Alrighty. Here's my latest updates. Hot from the oven.
My GEK test was blissfully over last evening, and im still over the moon by its passing(bleah im so easily satisfied i cant stand it.), and i've finished my German oral test, which i happily screwed up cuz the beautiful German words just eluded me when i needed them most. But ah well...there's bound to be others who are as good, or much less good than me. hahaha...perspectives, perspectives, perspectives. Right now im patiently waiting for my social work tutorial to start so i can get our presentation done and over with. I cant wait!
Muaks, everybahdey!
Been looking like a goldfish the whole day... I couldnt even put in my contact lenses. And not to mention being so lethargic again. Feel really bad abt it cuz im affecting my sw proj grp by being such an unproductive member. Feel like im leeching on them. REally really bad. Must put in more effort in the report.
And i;ve been really depressed practically the whole day... Thinking of all the people i've hurt so far, did alot of reflection on what i should not have said and finally realising i have to learn to ren3. I feel so sorry for my family. Especially my lil sister. She's the biggest loser out of the whole situation man...really feel so sorry for scolding her over her work all the time...it isnt her fault that she cant do her problems. they're tough.
Haiz...I guess i've got no one to blame if i eventually end up in fury hell for all the bad things i've done.
Sorry mei....
Sorry ma...
Sorry leong...
Sorry u gotta put up with me for so long.
Im so sorry.........
I'll never forget the day i made the person who loves me the most, and whom i love most cry. I really ought to learn. Learn to control myself, learn to think. Think very hard and very long before i speak. Think of how not to hurt people with my temper. Very very important. Cuz i finally learnt that a person's temperament is exactly like fire. Control it well, and you will get all the goodness you can ever wish to get from it. Let it run free, and you risk getting burnt; your most precious possessions perish together with the last sizzle of heat. And the damage is irreversible. One may clear up the mess and restore everything to its former glory; but underneath the beautiful new exterior lies the ugly scars of the destruction suffered before. Similarly, i can never undo the hurt i caused, but i resolve to learn from my mistake and never to repeat it. And the memory of the pain and the hurt shall serve to strengthen my resolve.
Im so sorry i hurt the very person i never ever wish to hurt.
a figment of my memory has come back to haunt me, yet again. Really wish it would just fade away faster n die off totally cuz it's too bittersweet.
tuesdays are tiring days which see me up n literally running for my morning german tutorial at 7am in the morning. 2 hrs to prepare for, and travel to school is really no laughing matter. I stare in the mirror and all i see is a zombie with a rotting face staring back at me. aint no pretty girl anymore:(
sarcasm awaits me as i return back to school at 73o in the evening for singing practice. "Ooh...i thought i saw a stranger!"... this is an unusually disgusting comment to me cuz the sarcastic bugger is no better than yours truly in terms of attendance. What? Just cuz u can sing and do the percussion and i cant means u're holier than i am? Get a life! i should have u-turned and gone back home to teach meimei instead cuz i'd be better appreciated for my efforts.
Why the heck did i promise to commit in the first place?
Celebrated Shunyu's big 21st just now..at Sandy's aunt's condo club house near Bt. Batok. Gawsh...it's journey to the west for me man...but for a dear friend who's been real sweet to me, it's all worth it:) Went there early with jac to blow balloons, decorate n stuff. hahaha...made the bday girl pole the sole 3 guys at the party...but to no avail. i demo-ed, and wld have gone on to do some convincing playact - if not for the fact that sh*** was one of them and i didnt want him to be reminded of my embarrassing behaviour at zoukout last yr. Yucks. it's disgusting just thinking abt it. But i made shunyu dig out the candle holder like i did! - thanks to Hc's n Ben's reminder:p
Later on at arnd 10.15 i shared cab with hc n ben to bt.batok to take the train home from there. then hc had dis idea of jioing ppl down for coffee since he went to sy's bday party n the outing didnt work out for whatever reason i dunno. so for a short while i saw some of the folks - we didnt call everyone out cuz coffeebean was closing in an hr plus anw. ( 2 babes and a guy, im sorry:x) i went off at arnd 11 anw. really tired la...and my dad was getting worried n called me. Bleah...felt really bad having to lie to him tt someone's sending me home, but t'was a white lie - i didnt want him to worry. Not too much anw.
And ya...i better cut down all my cussing. Eliminate it from my system. It's becoming a habit that i dont ever want to have.
didnt sleep until 630 this morning...was rushing to finish touching up my lab reports. Somehow it just didnt feel safe to leave it as it was la. Cursed the tutor lots too...a real true blue bitch who didnt have the courtesy to tell us exactly what she wants out of our reports, and left us all so uneasy about it the whole time. Tempers flared too. hahahah...anwz im just happy its finally gone, so i can start doing my other projects n study for my tests. work-oriented i am, baby!
Then along the tiring journey home from school i suddenly recalled a particular scenario from a novel i read. It put a smile on my face just thinking of that. dunno why it came to me oso:)
The scene is set in a mama shop. The girl was holding all her luggages, and wasnt feeling too well. the guy, sensing her helplessness, takes her bags from her without a word and turns to walk out of the shop. In his haste he knocks down some small bottles of sweets. Some broke. The girl panicked, and frantically rushed to pick up the stuff. The guy stoops down to pick up the stuff too. And with a 'shhh...', and a very faint hint of sneakiness, he puts the damaged bottles back onto the shelf. Though no words had been spoken, the girl is totally put at ease and even manages to giggle a little. Then he walks out with an air of nonchalance, with her trailing close behind. Little does he know that the girl is utterly gratified and her heart has been held captive. by him.
haha...cheesy i know, but hey its so innocent la. Really cute:p
my boobs have shrunk. im damned sad manx. i need to eat more. and sleep more. and take more chicken essence. And on top of that, in xw's words, "... ... u need nutritious papaya soup." yeah i want that too.
whoa...i really needa catch a break and give my poor eyes more slack time man. Been really busy these past few weeks and havent been sleeping too well. Damned lethargic these days as a result. To affirm this, a friend of mine whom i havent seen since last sem commented yesterday that i've slimmed down - in a bad way. I've grown bony, pale, haggard, and look like im in my 30s. And i've got lovely eye-bags the size of Doraemon's pocket to boot. (And this was confirmed this morning by my concerned neighbour. she felt my arms n told me to eat more.)
What's more, i've become easily irritable these days too. Im Snappy the crocodile. My friends better stay away from me manx. Beware...you've been warned.
heehee...NUS is great manx. Not only does it have impressive libraries, good food (being in arts), and plenty o'cute hunka-hunk hunks to see, students can do shopping here too! Macham like a one-stop gigantic-mongous supermart. haha..but dont be mistaken. i ain't (loserified enough to be) boot-licking n promoting my school; it's cuz i managed to get clinique stuff at the vanity fair at arts forum (arts rawks the hse down!) in the morning:p damned cool man...love the cleanser and the lip gloss i got from Clinique. Wonderiing if i shld go back later to get their mousse foundation too, and the eyeshadow from stila, and the set of lip gloss from stila (which is dirt-cheap), and the shimmering eyeshadows, and the... ... ... ...
Happily threw away all my work anxieties and went for Xinyi’s piano ensemble concert last night. Prior to that Becky, Janice, Jer, Clarence and I went to munchies for dinner, and haha…what with cross-fire conversations, spilling of water all over the place, cabonara with too much cream and ah-kuas…I’ll take forever to list down all the guffaws man.
The concert itself was good; pretty much amazed by how they can tickle the ivories without a sweat. (I mean, there was aircon, but still……haha!) But it left me thinking about my own piano skills which have very much faded into non-existence though…pretty painful just to think of that. Hmm…but on a lighter note, the concert had its funny moments too. Towards the end of the concert quite a few people KO-ed, with Becky n Jer included, and all of us awake heard loud snoring from one of the back rows. Hahahaha! Damned amusing it was. Cant blame the tired bugger tho - the temperature was right, ambience was right, and the silence was right in place as well. I confess that I dozed off a few times too:p
Afterwards all of us went to Holland V’s Essential Brew for light drinks and well, we were not disappointed – hilarious guffaws was on the house. This time, Becky spilled her chái tea, got all of us fleeing in all directions, and sent all the staff (and the stares) in our direction. haha…and not to be outdone was Clarence. For the second time in a single day he spilt his drink and once again, we sent the staff to our table. (haha…Sijia who was working there must have been so disgusted man:p) Thankfully, the guy who came to wipe up our awful mess was cool abt it. Saying sorry repeatedly helped a lot, I think. He was clearly more amused than anything else. I caught him stifle a grin as he cleaned up the mess. And a lot of cold jokes and catching up later, Clarence the kind but dangerous driver, drove me home (kinda grateful to Jer for this) and Jer n Becky to convenient locations.
All in all I must say I enjoyed myself, and im sure the rest did too! Okok…’nuff said. Im off to eat guo tie!
Saturday 4th march, 2006 is the night of many firsts… ... for the innocent lovely being called……me! haha…my father and I celebrated our birthdays at downtown east, and boy did I enjoy myself. I had my long-time choir clique, my very happening og gang, 3 very charismatic guys from 03S25(hurhur…), my dear dear friend Jac and her bf Tianqi, and the most important of all - my family, altogether with me. What more can I ask for? Im a happy girl!
The firsts… …
guests to arrive.: Jac and her bf, tianqi. We went cycling around pasir ris park in the setting sun. It’s been ages since I last had the opportunity to do that man! And im glad I got to spend time with my long-time friend.
Cakes Fiesta: hmm…let’s see… I had peach ice-cream cake, chocolate cake and mango cake, not to mention the walnut cake I ta-powed home. What else have u? Bring it on!
cake I ate: My dearest clique got me a sinfully good ice-cream cake from Swensen’s and a really beautiful necklace. Exquisite, I say. But what was most impt wasn’t the gift. It was more of their presence that mattered to me; especially for those who were sincerely truly happy to celebrate my bday with me. Thanks, from the bottom of my heart.
helpful guests: wanling n co. Seriously they really did a fantastic job with my bbq. Also special mentions to Ben and jk for their marvellously done chicken wings; what more with the starting of fire, peng-ing the food, and having fun. Hahaha…n not to mention bridging the night away!
“Kingspears!” says Lloyd the intoxicated one.
100 diamonds in my life: great, just great! Toon, Ben n Jk gave me 100 very macho-looking diamond push-ups! Mwahahah…who else can boast of having that on their bdays? But I had to do smthg stupid in exchange for that…let’s not mention it huh.
1.8litres of M&M's: i've seriously never seen so many m&m's in my life man.
fresh cream facial: dammit man. Sticky, gooey, and oily cake on my face!! Tsktsk…cake is meant to enter the mouth, not diffuse through my skin cells ok? My friends are really so kind to me.
Epilogue: Woke up only on Sunday afternoon, just to nuah the rest of the day away. I mean, how the hell can I study when I keep seeing 4 sleeping beauties and monkies sleep in front of me?!
Yesterday was awesome too. At the stroke of 12, Mummy gave me a pair of earrings made of white gold, which made me cry a little cuz I haven’t been receiving gifts from her since I don’t know when. Really got quite emotional, which led to me eventually crying as well when I received bday msgs from ben, jh, and my og gang at arnd 12. I don’t know wad came over me, just knew that I was suddenly very touched by their simple but sincere msgs. Gee…I scared my brother lots man. He was like, “why the hell r u crying over your hp?” But well, let’s just say it was the earrings. I swear they are the best I’ve ever seen in my whole life. And will be the best I have, ever.
Am really sleep deprived this week. I had a social work essay assignment to hand in today, topped up with a German semester test. Guess that's what they mean when they say, it never rains but pours. I had been up since last night till 6 in the morning today just so that i could finish up the horrible SW assignment. Not that it was darned tough to do; it was purely the result of endless procrastination. Then i was up and about again at 9 to cram for my German test this afternoon. Whoa...i literally floated throughout school today. I felt like i had cotton wool stuffed in my head or something. The test? Oh I floated through it too. Thank goodness i have been paying attention in class all this while man. Phew!
Somehow or rather, despite the apparent lack of sleep, i managed to pull through till the end of the day. Amazing man...i didnt fall down dead!!! "im a survivor, im gonna make it..." Stayed back awhile after that to play Boggle with my usual bunch of friends. haha...i nv knew word games can be THAT addictive la. Shucks...it's all ling's fault that im becoming a big kid who's picking up board games again. mwahahaha!
A few hours of tuition, a flurry of text messages, and a few games of NFSMW later, i find myself being disappointed and upset. and hugging my mummy as i cry. I finally understand why they insist that home is the best refuge one can ever have.