Oh, and here's smthg funny that i found in my email inbox:
Here's another...
Finally, the female warrior Yan, who has been duelling with 2 lethally-whiny, saliva-spitting, super-sneezy and extra-pesky bio-terrorists for 3 weeks now, has succumbed to their most deadly biological weapon - the flu bug. It was a tough fight for the lady warrior, for she has had to dodge flying mucus and saliva missiles day in, day out for the past 15 days.
However, all is not lost. She has not given up yet, and she will not. For she knows that stupid obstacles like this can only make her stronger at the end of the day.
She will carry on fighting the biological and mental war coz she knows that she will emerge the ultimate victor(ess) on the 3rd of Aug. And then she will run to her room, play her victory song, "Im a Survivor" by Destiny's Child on her computer, lock her door and dance all around her room in jubilance.
At times, when i reflect on the things i do these days, i picture myself on a tilted carousel, like one of those you see in the children's playground in pasir ris park. Much as i try to refrain from succumbing to certain vices, temptations, i find myself gravitating towards what the very things im avoiding sometimes. It's like an addiction i cant break free of.
Sometimes i badly want to believe that a superior someone or something is controlling the way my life unfolds before me. That someone or something knows what he is doing to my life, and when i look at him in doubt, he is able to give me a very reassuring smile to tell me that i will like the way its turning out to be.
Sometimes, i really wonder why im (almost) always late for my appointments. It not only gets on the nerves of my friends n family (namely my mum), it gets on mine too. It lingers on my conscience, i swear. But throughout those times i try to be on time, it still happens! An extremely exasperated friend of mine has even resorted to buying 4D everytime im on timE. @#$#$%%!$^%^%#^^@#!!&&^*&^!!!!@!!
However, at long last, i think i finally figured how to stop it. And im determined to put an end to my lack of punctuality. So, in this deepest resolve to kick this bad habit i have, which is like a deep scratch on my otherwise-decent reputation, i've decided to do a declaration on my blog (i am THAT serious), that
As usual, there's your very well-designed banner from NEA to warn people not to feed the long-tailed fellas. (Mum, read that.) A very touching picture which reminds me why Mums are the best. Throughout the whole time, that arm never left the lil tyke. I sincerely thank Evolution for making the human female anatomy the way it is today. Wah biang, i didnt know monkeys appreciated the Armani hairstyle too. Mum calls it 'the playboy'. Rightly so.
And there you have it. Look at all the fat, fat oysters!! *drools* They ought to pay me for advertising, man. Preferably by jumbo-sized servings of orh lua. 
And so it has ended. World Cup 2006 has finally come to a close with the Italians hugging their trophy, that has seen more than 352 men running, kicking, fighting and even head-butting for in the last month, back to their homeland. The Italians won, but i didnt. All becoz they didnt win at the right time. But thankfully, i was never the risk-taker, so i didnt lose much ... just the equivalent of 5 spring rolls from Old Chang Kee. I guess i can get by, lah:D Anyways, it just served to remind me that i was, and will never be lucky when it comes to betting, so dearest myself, DONT EVER BET AGAIN.
This morning's match also had me thinking about the issue of sportsmanship, which to me is the art of fighting, but fighting with grace; winning, but winning with humility; losing, yet losing with honour.
But i didnt see that most of the time during the entire WC games. Esp not during the match between Germany n Portugal (they fought after the match), and certainly not during the final showdown this morning (the legendary Zidane was unceremoniously sent off for head-butting Materazzi (thanks to Boss for his kind correction=D), supposedly over a racial slur that the latter uttered)
Weren't the World Cup games supposed to be a celebration of the beauty of football, and more importantly, a platform to establish n maintain good international relations through the game? No beauty could have come out of the head-butt incident last night. It was supposed to be Zidane's swan song, and i believe not only myself, but everyone else who understood at least a lil bit of football would have felt real sorry for an honoured figure like him to have to make such an ugly exit. Sure, Zidane had a choice of how to react to the situation then; but it was unnecessary for Materazzi's supposed racial slur that prompted such an angry response from Zidane. Coz there's every possibility that his action was a deliberate attempt to garner a red card for France's key man, and unfortunately, he got what he wanted.
Well-deserving winners need not, and do not resort to such low-handed treachery to win games, though it seems that football in recent yrs, has evolved to be as such. Still, i hold steadfast in my belief that real winners win their trophies by proper means, by a true display of their strength and skill, and by good strategies on the part of the their managers. I could go on, and on about it, but i gotta run off to teach my 2 whiny taiwanese kids already. Bottomline is, when i tuned in to the final match, i expected to see one which showcased the ultimate football flair possessed by the teams which have made it thus far; one which could explain to me why such a seemingly simple sport could yield the power to break down all barriers, and unite ppl of all nations regardless of race, language or religion. But sadly, i failed to see why.
it's only 6th minutes into the game, and Zidane scored a goal thru penalty kick already. I feel sick in my stomach. I have to teach at 8am in the morning, but i cant sleep. no wonder they tell us never to bet. i cant bear to watch, but i cant stand to go to bed either. gosh...i hope Italy equalises real soon. And pray keep the darned score there.
One last look at the National Stadium before it undergoes a facelift THE men in white! (but i dont even know who they are, actually. haha!) Gine, my sis, who fell aslp halfway thru the show on my lap Me n Alison, whom i met right after the show. Small world!:)
But seriously, i thought that was the only fantastic thing about the preview, apart from the F-16s with the blue n orange flames spurting out of their backsides. The fireworks which i was so eagerly waiting all evening to see were just 2 words: kanna-sai. They were just ... so short!!! Like a couple of short farts, 'poot! poot!' and they were all gone already. Felt so cheated la. But despite my disappointment, here's a couple of pics i managed to take during the show:
Taiwanese-and-Chinese-infused Mandarin is really gonna be my thing, man. My mum's 2 little Taiwanese boys have just arrived, and i've been assigned the humongous task of teaching them English for the next 30days, so i guess i'll be adopting their speak just to make our communications a lil bit easier. (and this, on top of the 4 Chinese boys that im teaching right now. tt's y the infusion) The boys fared okay for first impressions, actually. Adorable, chatty lil tykes...except that they kinda...ermm...drowned my face as they spoke. But nevermind, i SHALL survive. Success comes to those who persevere! (and i sure hope i'll be convinced enough to do so)
And I also hope that the employer, my mum, can find a better way to treat me too. It's freezing in here, i tell ya. Someone's gotta understand that it isnt a happy life for ANY big sis who has to live under that pile of expectations heaped unto her. All that, just for THAT sickening word in front of the sis.
Money is the root of all evil. It's never been more true.
"Where's the bacon??" The daughter is stunned, and realises that her mum didnt recognise that the charred, shrunken mess in the toaster was in fact, the very-burnt porky. (apparently Mum hadnt counted on seeing such a drastic change.) Daughter breaks into a mad guffaw n points it out to her mum. The scene ends with both mother n daughter in an uncontrollable laughing fit.
I felt sad for porky, really i do. But i got angry as well coz i spent 12mins eagerly anticipating my delicious streaky bacon, only to find smoke billowing from my toaster, and yes, a very-dried and shrunken porky. But what made me laugh was the priceless response i got from my mum when i whined to her abt poor porky. the scenario was as such:
Both mother n daughter proceeds to check out the burnt bacon. Mum peers hard into the opened oven for a couple of seconds. Thinking tt her mum has seen the burnt bacon, the daughter begins to whine n complain. But at tt moment, Mum turns around to face her girl with a puzzled look on her face and says...
And in the end, poor me ended up having just a warm glass of milk before heading to bed. Feeling unfulfilled, no doubt; but very amused.
Must say im really not used to seeing myself look like that. Feel like puking somehow, but i dont know why. Perhaps it's coz the pics are quite un-me. What you see in the pics is my made-up face. My real face is hidden underneath that layers of foundation, powder, i dunno what, i dunno whats. (my eyes were shut most of the time during the make-up so i cldnt know what they used on me) And ever wondered why cosmetics are called make-up and not colour-up, powder-up or whatever-up? coz whatever u see after that make-up is MADE-up. Geddit? haha. Gee. im making myself sound like i hate cosmetics. more hahas
Alrighty, this is da first pic of myself that im gonna post on my blog, and it's one of the photos i took during that extremely expensive shoot. See my flying hair? It's blown by a small fan, but boy the darned tiny fan was making my teeth chatter. Accounts for the frozen smile u see. 
ok, here's one of the wedding shots. the hair didnt turn out as nice as i thought. but still, i think it's not bad already coz in some of the others, i thought i look like bapok. Dang. walao.
I gave out pantyliners on the train again today, this time on the North-South line. And my day went like this:
1.30pm: "Would you like to have some free samples? ... Welcome."
2.30pm: "Some free samples for you? Welcome."
3.30pm: "Free samples? Welcome."
4.30pm: "Free samples welcome free samples welcome free samples welcome"
5.30pm: "freesamples.freesamples.freesamples.freesamples.freesamples.freesamples..."
5.45pm: "free. free.free.free.free.free.free.free..."
Such is a day in the life of a walking (and increasingly-delirious) tape recorder. Drown in my saliva, and get free kotex samples in return:D
Ich liebe Deutschland Fu?ball Mannschaft!! There were plenty of nail-biting moments, not to mention that i nearly crushed my ribena packet and spilled the contents onto myself, but yes, Germany won! Though the Argentinians were less than friendly, i gotta admit they're a superb team, and they played a mean, mean game...Crafty and skilful. I salute them. *salutes*
haha...but games aside, there were a few breather moments, and time for a couple of dumb jokes which helped take some tension off the heated-up atmosphere of my neighbourhood kopitiam:
Q: What is the difference between a piece of bi sai (nose pickings) and a grain of rice?
A: You stick the rice on top of the table, but u stick the bi sai under the table.
Q: What is the difference between a piece of bi sai and a bowling ball?
A: This one's pretty simple, actually. U throw the bowling ball before you roll it; but it is a necessity to roll up your bi sai before you throw/flick it. I mean, like that easier to flick mah. It might even spin if u flick it the correct way!