Haiz...another day of abstinence from my fav bakwa, belachan prawn rolls and my pineapple tarts in all shapes and sizes. And it doesnt help when my dearest cousins INTENTIONALLY dangle the goodies in front of me or eat with the stoopid ooh-its-so-gd expressions on their faces. But still i didnt bite the bait! And im rewarded by feelin' so much better now;)
Saturday 28th Jan 06
has got to be the suay-est CNY eve i've ever had. Mum gave me $100 to buy toto for her. And within the short short 3mins i took to walk to the toto booth, I LOST $50. Just like that!!! I swear i was gripping the money so hard! But still it was hard enough to allow one of the notes to slip outta my hand. Ran back home to replace the 50bucks and ran back to the toto booth. But guess wad? the time was 2.15pm and the booth had just closed. Damned. Called back home and my mum hung up on me when i told her:(
Later on i got into a sneezing fit while i was laying out the table cloth for all the tables at home. Apparently the cloth was extremely dusty - i dont know why - and being ultra sensitive to dust, my nose started running. Pun intended.
Officially reported sick at 6.30pm. i'd better stay away from everybody so i dont jinx them as well. Yeh...talk about bad omen, man.
Sunday 29th Jan 06, CNY!!!
Bad bad bad. I woke up with a sore throat. Basically this is the worst case scenario, coz this just means i cant touch a single edible thing laid out prettily on the coffee tables at all:( And soon enough, i had a bad case of migraine and thus, im now back home resting and hoping very hard all the bad virus would just go away.
Oh, but it wasnt totally bad, though. I had a hot-hunk encounter in the lift as i was leaving my granny's place! hahaha...don't know if he caught me looking at him, but he turned back and smiled at me before i got out of the lift! and he turned back to look at me again after a few steps. (haha...and im very sure neither my clothes nor my hair was a teeny weeny bit out of place ok.)
*grinz* Im gonna visit my granny more often than ever, man.
Gee...got a feeling im under depression - just like my dearest cousin Johnson. Went hunting for clothes in town with ling, esther, qian fu today for my last piece of clothing before i can proudly announce my CNY shopping done. Hee...thanks to qianfu for giving me a treat! (Shhh...im supposed to keep mum) REally nice kor kor i have there haha:) - guess i shouldnt niao him so much huh?
But sadly, i got a skirt which i wanted, but honestly didnt like it. Ya...u read right. I didnt really like it......but since i needed something to wear for cny, i bought it. And that, knowing i'll get it from mum:
" It's so short! what is this?" - feel like telling her str8 that it's a blardy short skirt, and i like short skirts. I mean, who's the one wearing it? And heck, i paid for it with my own $$ ok.
I dont know why i can be so weird sometimes. After that i just started sobbing uncontrollably in my room as if i've just been dumped or something. So much so that i shocked my brother into being sympathetic and giving me tissue to wipe my eyes. Even Alma auntie was especially gentle to me.
Think im facing an identity crisis. I dont know who i am anymore. I dont like who i see in the mirror - the self-centred, temperamental girl. Im not the good person i used to be, nor have i now become the person i've always aspired to be. Im in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes i feel i compromised too much in the past; so much so that i've gotten used to doing things that i myself didnt like to do. To be honest, i am not happy now. I remember i used to be a really happy girl - even if i was ugly, fat and doing real badly in school. Maybe im just feeling too much, feeling lonely - and in need of somebody to cling onto and just cry until i shuang. But naah...im not gonna throw myself onto any tom, dick and harry just yet. Coz i still have my darling 'M-I-L-K' bolster for comfort. He smells like me btw:p
Im beat. Not having enough sleep is taking a toll on me. And my mood. Feeling ridiculously tired and nua nua today. Worried about lotsa stuff too - in fact a horoscope guide tells me i'll constantly be worrying about something or another throughout the rest of my life. The long, long, winding road in front of me doesnt seem too exciting for me eh?
For one, im worried about having to go visiting my relatives in my birthday suit coz my folks insist we wear new clothes for CNY, and i haven finished my shopping yet. But technically speaking, i shld've been done coz i did manage to get 2 tops, 2 bottoms. But mummy dearest vetted my purchases and condemned my pair of corduroy shorts which i was sooo happy to get, with a:
"Ni fa shao shi bu shi? Na li you ren chuan duan ku qu bai nian?!"
That's it man. So i gotta expand the already huga-gigan-enor-mongous hole in my pocket, AND race against time, to get a decent skirt so my relatives have nothing to comment about my dressing like they did last yr.
Heh...im writing alot of crap today, as usual. I managed to make the whole coffeeshop near my house black out on my way home. It happened just as i was walking past so ya...no harm trying to bullshit abit rite? hahaha
Muahaha. I've got 1000 smses per month and im feeling damned smug about it. Sue me.
WEEEEEEE!!! im finally gonna study Psychology this sem! I had no lessons today, so i went to sch solely to enquire about my appeal and the EXTREMELY-CONFUSING cors appeal system. I travelled for 1 hr, waited in the intimidating office for 15mins and summoned all my courage from the deep depths of my guts to speak to the Psych AO - just to receive a reply like this: And to xw, thanks for inspiring me to go all out for what i really want. *salutes*
"I've already replied to your appeal. Go check your email."
Thanks. I really need that anti-climax reply, woman. But, eventually, like dearest Ling has soooooo powerfully predicted with her 6th sense, I'VE GOTTEN MY BELOVED MODULE! - if only i would be with the guy of my dreams that easily huh? But oh wells, i gotta be contented. And thankful.
Kudos to Ling for all the love, patience and support she has given me throughout my difficult period, and thanks babe, for enduring all my crap. (PS: i know u'd be reading this too. My 6th sense;p So there. U oughta give me some of your crap too. Dun say i didnt give u a chance to take revenge k...=))
"U gotta be glad, u gotta be happy, u gotta be exhilarated..."
OKayyy...some explanation as to why i missed my lecture. i basically thought my lecture was at 12, so i woke up at 10am. Somehow it occurred to me to check my timetable - call it instincts - and to my jaw-dropping horror, THE LECTURE WAS AT 10AM. im disgustingly pathetic, i tell ya.
After wasting close to 16hrs of my life away i finally decided to do something useful; for instance checking out some of the universities in Germany n Switzerland where i can possibly go to if i were to apply for SEP next sem. for year 2, sem 2.
i must say, education's really expensive these days. everywhere. A semester in Germany = a year in NUS. Scary. Can almost see my dad's hands trembling as he digs out a staggering $6k from his tiny little pocket. Hmmph... wondering if i should just settle for a month of immersion instead. Less worth the money, but this is where my limited financial means can offer me for now - if i were not to add SEP expenses to my sky-high pile of debts.
So is it Immersion? Or SEP? Immersion? SEP? Immersion? SEP? Immersion? SE...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Hehheh...i missed my lecture today. Oh-oh~
I CANT BELIEVE IT! i've blogged 3 times todayyy! damned im syndrom-ing, trying to amuse myself by flooding my own blog. hahahhahahahahahhhha!!
Im seriously convinced that i've got no fate with psychology. i bidded for it for 3 rounds (and missed 1) and even on my last attempt im outbidded by nutcases who willingly dump 2400 points over an exposure module. Get a life, man. Anw i've been rejected by the cors system for so many times im numbed to it. Big deal. Went out for retail therapy to make myself happy, and im glad that it didnt let me down. I managed to get the slippers i like for CNY! And under 1 hr somemore! hahaa...so happy, i didnt bother to shop for anything else anymore and went straight home. this is my briefest shopping trip to date. damned cool i am, baby!
Baaah...the past few days were very much wasted away with me glued to the computer screen to monitor the bidding. My only break came on Tuesday, Hari Raya but somehow i wondrously got myself tied up with stuff even on that day. care-leh-feh acting to be exact. Job scope's supposedly easy, just follow the director's instructions, plus i get to see a couple of Proj Superstar singers. ha.ha.ha. like i care abt seeing a few celebrities. But yup...i figured out i've got nothing to lose, so i gave it a go eventually.
next thing i knew i spent an entire day (the shooting ended only at 5 instead of 12) on a chartered SBS bus, and apart from doing a few scenes i was basically slping on the bus. Accounts for the meagre $25 i received at the end of the day coz I literally got paid to slp. How's tt for a job! BUT i'd NEVER would i be doing that again coz it's wasting my time boy......unless they tell me Keagan Kang or VJ Utt will be there.
Went out with XW after tt to have a good meal and do some...hehe...retail therapy. Afterall, CNY's coming! Found ourselves heading back n forth Wheelock coz xw needed to top up her parking coupons whenever time was up.(Well done, babe!) And just when we thought we cld finally go Kino to buy her books, a fire breaks out at Seoul Garden, smoke surrounds us and we were out of takashimaya again. haha...just my luck! heehee...but t'was a blessing in disguise coz we ended up gg to Scott's for desserts. yummy yum yum!
Went for the OP sale yesterday and got myself a damned chio skirt and a pair of pretty malibu slippers. And the spoiler? I've over-estimated my derriere and the skirt threatens to slip off my hips the moment i let go of it. Bad buy. Oh...and only today did i know that Tampines is just right next to Hougang. Amazing how near it is......rite?
Evening time Jer drove Wanling over to my house and laah kopi-ed for awhile with my sleepy sis in tow before we went up again to change and go for dinner with my folks at lau pa sat. Hahaha...nearly got lost if not for the fact Jer is one helluva steady driver albeit without a directory in his car. After that the three of us were off to Esplanade bay to chill out. Hahah while Jer was driving to CCK we got lost and somehow wandered to Pear's place by accident. But thankfully somehow, we managed to make it to Wanling's and safely make our way back to the east and the north-east. hahahaa...and now i can drive to the West to visit a friend and make my way home, still!
By the way my evening went, it just showed that anyone, with any group of friends, can have a great time anywhere so long as her friends do not carry the blardie annoying I'M-SO-SIAN attitude out with them and wait for everyone else to come up with something. For the record, u can only have a good time IFF you, and only you yourself are willing to make it a good one. And oh, a very significant lesson i've learnt: DON'T ever meet up with any particular group of ppl too often. It isn't too healthy for ur social circle.
im so damned unlucky. Really i am. I badly want to do the introductory Psych module and yet fate plays a cruel trick on me and i miss it entirely, only to discover it 45 mins after the entire bidding round closed. One question arises in consequence: Am i not ready for Psychology at all?
New Year's Eve
T'was pretty good afterall! Had dinner at Cartel with my family and the 2 boys. Much of the evening was spent on QUEUING for a table for 8, but was pretty much indulging in my little bit of fun monkeying around - toppled the 'PLEASE WAIT' sign quite a few times:p
After that we were off to Esplanade to do the countdown. Gawd...the fireworks were superb! *Boom boom boom BLAM!* Whoaaa...the colours! A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Thankfully i captured snippets of it in my phone!
And I almost forgot! Happy Birthday, baby Gine!! Muaks!!