Just came back from dinner-turned-supper, and i rode on the new Renault Kangoo for the first time. I always thot the appearance was a tad ugly everytime i see it on the roads, but on the inside i gotta admit its really cool. Nice. Loved the new car smell and the leathered seats. haha...i've spent too long a time sitting on the little yellow stool in between the driver n passengers' seats in the van, that i nearly forgot what normal car seats r supposed to be like.
But im still sore about seeing the gears. they ain't supposed to be there.
it's a saturday and im at home. help. and i need a fire hydrant to cool myself down, as well as a water filter to control the amount of ugly rubbish that my big mouth spouts.
sheeesssshhh... i look really haggard in the photos. Darned the exams. mei lian jian ren...
Freedom is sweet.
I've finally finished all the f-up papers. Yeah. But i didnt finish my paper today and i didnt use my brain when i answered the questions. Think i might fail the paper.
But anyways, i really needed my bout of fresh air after being cooped up cramming for the past 2 weeks, so i went shopping with xw n hs after the exam. Seriously i've been missing out on so many things! i missed all the pretty clothes, the gorgeous shoes...practically everything!!
Ate good sushi, saw many pretty clothes, not to mention alot of bikinis as well cuz hs' looking for one...and boy, she got one that's real gd lookin'. Lucky gurl;) Took quite a few pictures at the most ridiculous places...silly, but damned amusing. hahah! The only setback was that i've grown accustomed to wearing flip flops to school...and putting on my heels again really hurt big time and gave me sickening toe cramps! Spoilers.
Which is precisely why i resolve to go back there very, very, very soon to do my flat-shoe shopping to take my poor feet out of misery; as well as get the uber-chio long wallet i saw at wallet shop the other time.
I'LL BE BACK!
PS: jiayou to my friends who are still struggling. May the force be with you...
3 down, 1 left.
TOday's Psych paper could be summed up in just one word - heartache. Cuz i didnt manage to finish studying...and i missed out quite a few chapters. And as anyone could have guessed, my heartache was from seeing all those questions which i could have scored in go unanswered. (cuz the exam was marked under the negative marking system) And to make things worse, those few questions were similar to those which came out for the 2nd CA test. *Kek sum...*
I blame myself for screwing up my paper. Hope it wldnt screw up my chances of majoring in the discipline along with it. Sighz... i really hope the overall results wont turn out too badly man...and that ling n fu wont be grumbling abt me as they read my blogpost:p (haha...it's my blog!)
p.s: thanks ling for collecting my lab report for me...i did pretty ok for it:) best of luck for ur paper tmr!
2 down, 2 more.
And i've tucked a C firmly into my pocket - and that isnt the problem. THE problem was purely the case of possessing the knowledge that was required, yet not knowing how, and what to make use of it while doing the paper. Which convinces me all the more that im not cut out for SW cuz social workers deal with real people, real problems. Having a wealth of knowledge, and knowing exactly when, where and on whom to use is exactly what they are required to do during therapy sessions with clients. Failing which...the worker may end up screwing up another person's life; and it is trauma for the worker, as much as it is for the client, cuz he has to live with it for the rest of his life.
And im not prepared for all this. cuz if there's anything that's gonna stick with me till the end of my life, it's none other than my conscience. And to carry a heavy one to the grave is what i really dont want.
I know im probably not gonna do well for this paper, but to see the realness of it all because of it, i am grateful enough. I'd even say the paper was well-set.
(Well...almost. Im just hope that this paper wouldnt cost me too much=D)
1 battle won, 3 more to go. My army of brain cells are down by half. The remaining ones are suffering from low morale and depression and refuse to fight. According to my team of psychologists, they have developed: In addition, they have been suffering from active interference from the bed, the table top and the sofa troops. My psychiatrists have thus prescribed benzodiazepines tranquilisers and monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs) to relieve the respective problems. They recommend further intensive psychotherapy as a follow-up treatment, which i think is a pretty good idea. I think i have a good team of psychologists, social workers and psychiatrists. And im suffering from Disordered Schizophrenia.
My social workers are also hard at work attending to the soldiers, using the 4PsRsMs method in assessing the intensity of their condition, and are intending to use the Reflecting and Reframing approach to motivate them during their sessions.
I've come to the sad realisation that im turning into this incorrigible sleepyhead. Which is bad news coz these days, i find myself falling off my chair, leaving highlighter ink blots on the books, jabbing my face with the uncapped pen tip and getting my forehead (or either side of my cheeks) red and numbed when i leave my head on my table for too long. And then i wake up with a start when my book slides right out of my hand onto the floor; and immediately i feel downright guilty cuz i've still tons of stuff to cram and im frigging running out of time.
Damned I need focus pills and anti-sleep pills. And toothpicks.
Really disappointed today:( My folks finally bought a new Renault Kangoo for ourselves (the van belongs to my uncle in name), but wth it's MANUAL!!! Woah...i've never been more disappointed:( it's like getting bad results for a test which u thot u did extremely well for; like having to stay home to eat leftover mee goreng from lunch for dinner when the others are out at some fancy restaurant eating French-Japanese fusion cuisine.
Feel cheated somehow...cuz my own mother was the one who convinced me to take auto driving lessons when i insisted on taking the manual. And to add on to the misery, she made me pay for my lessons with my own money. She even promised me that she'd get an auto vehicle for me!
With all the empty promises she made since i was a child...i should have known. Mummy's a liar!
Im SO getting fat. Just came back from yong chun yuan where my entire clan celebrated my granny's birthday. We had an eight-course meal and food was really fantastic. But the service sucked tho...there was this CHinese waiter who didnt sound local who served us. And boy, was he rude! Shan't go into details, but if i could, i would have scratched his blardie face for that bad bad attitude. Really marred the really good dining experience man. We were there to celebrate granny's birthday, but really sad to say, the star wasnt my granny but the blardie tv the function room had. Everyone was there just for the sake of being there, and my granny wasnt getting all the attention that she rightly deserved. And as usual, my family was isolated at a separate table by ourselves cuz our entourage was huge - my mum brought the 2 boys along, our total strength was 8, so i didnt really quite get to spend time with my granny as i wanted to.
Quite saddened by the reality of it actually. For all the efforts that everyone made to keep the entire clan bonded, i get the strong, but tragic impression that the clan would just fall apart and go their separate ways eventually.
It never rains but pours. How true. What lies beneath the facade? Only time will tell.
But in the meantime, Mahmah...sang cahn fai lohk! San tai ghin hong, fok yu dong hoi, sau bei lam san!:)
Someone said that one needs to fall, fail and plunge into despair before he'll see the light. But did anyone say anything about what happens if one keeps falling and failing without ever seeing the light?
Depression. Cluelessness. Over-indulgence? Sometimes i pamper myself too much, pity myself too much and play too often.
Isolation may be good for me. And the people around me.
im proud to say i've been pretty efficient today. I managed to get all the books i need for my GEk project, which required me to take a trip down to med and sci libraries. I literally did a tour around med fac for the elusive library, and in the process i found dis cafe at med fac which looks like a uber chillout-conducive place. (Gee...i actually discover new places in school when im supposed to be busy mugging. Ah! the irony of life.) Must go check it out one of these days tho.
By Goddess of Mercy's good graces, I miraculously made my way home with all of the 5 terribly-heavy books i borrowed without breaking off my arms, and i predicted that i wld put off reading till tmr. But due to some extraterrestrial-alien-unknown-donkey reason, i was somehow MOTIVATED (no, i aint lying) to do my reading, and i did!
Signs of losing my personality (tgr with my sanity)? MAybe.
gee...i blanked out for german sem test today. I dont have the premonition that i'll do badly; i KNOW im gonna do badly. Dammit. Kek sum ah... To think i stayed up to mugg for it - which ironically i believe to be the cause of my downfall. Now im just worried my lousy german grades are gonna drag down my cap scores for this sem.
Time for some serious divine help.
im a damn happy person can?! I got myself a funky pair of Levi's jeans n hot pants...and they were a steal at $4o in total! Hmm..thank goodness i didnt decide to stay home to mugg German just now:p A blessing in disguise!
After All This Time - Simon Webbe
After all the broken stones
That were thrown, for no good reason
Inside, she is loving him still
after all this time
And though her heart bear the scars
No sign of healing
It's All right
She's loving him still, after all this time.
Trying to push the past away
Still waiting for the lights to change
Try, try for the sake of their pride, pride
Learning to barely feel the pain
the thicker the skin the less the strain
And though it's really hurting
She aint breaking, breaking, breaking
Coz she's loving him still, after all this time
Now he knows his weakness shows
Selfish soul, never changing
That's fine, because she's loving him still
After all this time
And to the outside eye
You see you found a different guy
And it all seems perfect, and that's how she wants it
Coz she's loving him still, after all this time.
Trying to push the past away
Still waiting for the lights to change
Try, try for the sake of their pride, pride
Learning to barely feel the pain
The thicker the skin the less the strain
And though it's really hurting
She aint breaking, breaking, breaking
Coz she's loving him still, after all this time
After all this time....
After all, after all, after all this time
Bones have to grow, and age it shows
Though we try and hide it
Inside, she's loving him still
After all this time
And behind his tired eyes, she sees the boy with his arms wide
Who made her feel like an angel
Ohh that's why she's loving him still
For the rest of her life, she's loving him still
For the last of many miles
She's loving him still
After all this time
BEWARE...They bite. They really do.
Taking a look back at some of the posts that i've written in the past, i cant help but cringe at some of the juvenile things that i blogged about. Heck, i even did a movie review on my blog. (Im seriously considering taking that post off so i dun develop spasms and cringe to death.) And i realise that what i've learnt during psych about emotions are really true. You do think more rationally and coherently when you're depressed as opposed to being optimistic and cheery. The post i did regarding my prelim results prove just that.
Seriously, it's also leading me to regauge my own perception of my maturity. I'd like to think i can do better than what im doing now. SO... im changing my stance. Esp. with the onslaught of the tests and exams:
Do all the silly things u wanna do when you're still young. Cast your 'face' concerns aside once in a while. Afterall, you're only young once. BUT complete all your more urgent tasks on hand first.
Off to continue mugging. Good luck for exams, all you NTU n SMU-ians.
My Saturday was a pretty packed one today. Went back to school for Reso practice cuz presentation's on Tues and Incomplete was literally incomplete, still. But Amanda the great transcripter managed to finish it up within the practice and we got to do a couple of run-throughs! Wow...i'll never be able to cope with THAT kind of pressure manx.
Went to meet the group after practice. Hee...Pear was still clueless abt what was happening even when we were on our way to dinner:p hahaha...my 'Canadian aunty' ruse was still working! So who said my 'Canadian aunty' excuse was old-fashioned? huh? HUH??! hahaha...
Dinner was real good. We went to a vegetarian restaurant at Shaw tower, and Roma's Deli is its name - It's really an equivalent of Pasta Mania except that it's less fatty. Maybe i'd bring the clique there one day if they aint adverse to vegetarian food.
Following that we wandered over to the Esplanade and tried taking the Merlion photos Ling, fu and angelin took last week which were damned hilarious. But we failed even with the strongest lighting my camera cld afford:( In anws, am glad Pear likes the Blythe doll that we got for her! haha...really enjoy hanging out with this group of friends, cuz the things they say and do are soooo atrocious at times its wildly amusing. lolx...
Sometimes u just havta cast your inhibitions aside and just do all the things u wanna do. Even if it's stupid and embarrassing...cuz afterall, u're only young once. Forget the 'face', just do it.