We got through to the finals:) So now i dont exactly know how many $20 tickets i've got to buy for those whom i'd promised to get if we actually did get into finals, considering the boo-boos i made just now.
But i came to realise that there's more to NAC than just singing your guts out and winning some bronze-coloured trophies.
There is family. My Resonance family.
I knew right from the start i wouldnt be expecting any of my own family there anytime, so seeing all my fellow members - seniors and juniors alike - really felt like i had many, many jie jies, gor gors, di dis and mei meis i never knew of. Or rather, they have been there all along but i failed to notice their significance. So i really am thankful the competition allowed me to see just that.
And all those sweet msgs of encouragement i received throughout the day...each and everyone of them only helped make the uncertain smile on my face a little brighter, my faith a little stronger.
I dont mean to write sensitive things like this, but I'd like to clarify that i dont feel bitter, angry or even disappointed for close friends of mine who didnt turn up, coz I understand people have different priorities at different pts of their lives. Friends just have their own unique ways to say that they care - and turning up isnt the only one. Its just that having another familiar face in the crowd watching u, hoping u'd do well, having somebody who's next-of-kin - whom you trust - to run to and give a big hug, to warm ur hands when they are cold, or even a shoulder to cry on when u need it, just makes it all different. It just feels so comfortable in the heart.
And im just glad i got to have a bit of that:)
It didnt feel like i was competing today. Even as we were having our last-ditch pract yest, it didnt feel like we were doing it for a major event.
But now as i pace arnd the hse aimlessly trying to remember what else i've forgotten to pack, my stomach feels like it's been knotted, there's effervescence of noxous gases going on in there. It feels like my tummy's decided to go to war with the intestines.
In fact i started feeling the nerves only when i started wondering why i picked a red underwear for myself today. I been convincing myself that im not nervous, but in reality
IM DAMN FREAKING SCARED!!!
imnotnervousimnotnervousimnotnervousimnotnervousimnotnervousiAMnervous.
Good Luck to Reso, Good Luck to SPUFFS. For the love of all of us, im gonna learn how to breathe again.
Pract wasnt that good today...had quite abit of angst in the air. To think i was looking forward to it. Was especially annoyed with somebody. But i gotta admit i was cranky as well - after suffering 2 whole days' worth of bleeding pain, having to work even with the pain eg. scrape strips off green mango after green mango for a couple of hours while standing. And on my way to sch i slept on another uncle's shoulder on the train AGAIN.
Like "-_- ... ... walao eh.
hahah...but yest was fun. Had a feast celebrating Leong's bday at the stall.
here's Mum, probably overly sleep-deprived.
Probably the most photogenic people on earth.
Illegal Crab Vermicelli.
Uncle john cldnt sell it coz the money-hating Broadway bosses said no. But friends of mine can still get to eat this at the stall tho:p
JUMBO TOM YAM.
Spicy, sweet and sour - Personal fav.
Juicy cereal prawns
And to end off, here's a ultra lame-but-funny joke i found on my bro's msn nick:
Found myself missing all my friends these few days, esp those i havent seen in a while. People like my clique, my og mates, my nj classmates, and my grp of Salim's gang girls, and a few others fr reso whom im close to and talk alot with over msn but havent got the time now to even sign in and say hello.
It feels pretty bad that im so busy to the point i cant even call my friends to ask them how they're doing; and it feels even worse to be contacting them after a long while of unexplained absence. Coz i still cant quite believe how i cant spare 5-10mins even for a little chat. Like a friend of mine did a spine surgery one n a half mths back, i promised to call her but i never did; xw's flying off today (in fact she's already flown off by now) but all i cld manage was msg her two days before, and again at 2am today to wish her a safe trip. Geez... thinking abt it i didnt even reply her msgs properly the other day coz i was busy practising. I didn't even bloody hell call!
Aargh. I just hate myself sometimes.
But of course, that's not to say that i blame or even dread practices. They're about the only activity i look forward to these days coz that's the only time i get to sing and laugh with the fav people and get some 'me' time. The only other 'me' time i get is only when i sleep. Time out with friends are an absolute luxury, so i kinda treasure them allllllllot.
So friends, it's now official. Im piling on the skin to tell all of you that I MISS YOU LOTS, d'you hear??!
Latest updates for my friends:
I DID A PHOTOSHOOT FOR A M*C'S PRINT AD ON FRIDAY.
i fear i'd get sued for disclosing information here, so i'll be keeping the details confidential till i rcv my paycheck:p
Yes, im finally getting my money back! Woohoo!!
Don't know why... but i find myself getting sentimental about singing 城里的月光 for champs, esp after hearing the original version. Coz it was sung by Mavis Hee, and the song was a product of sunny island Singapore, before some Tank decided to modernize it and it became Made in Taiwan.
Singing it...makes me feel like im bringing it back home, again.
Last night i got tricked into going clubbing by XX Teo, one of my long-standing zhu peng gou you, who told everyone we were gg to CHILL OUT N DRINK, but somehow we found ourselves standing outside Attica.>_<
But i must add that i aint complaining; its been a yr since i last stepped into such places...
Anyways, i realised i havent even mentioned where my mum's stall is. And i even let shan beat me to it lol. So here goes...
It's Thai Ruk Cuisine, at 100 Tyrwhitt Road, right next to the Jalan Besar Stadium.
If you're coming by train, alight at Lavender, and take a 5-10min walk down Horne Road.
Just so u have a checkpoint - u'll pass French Road, where there's a POSB machine on ur left. But ignore it, make no turns, and walk on. U'll eventually see the stadium, and then Broadway Longhouse right after that.
If you're driving... im sorry, but my knowledge of roads is pte ltd. haha...correct me if im wrong, but all i know is if u're travelling from the West, u've got to go down the CTE, and travel until u find urselves on Benjamin Sheares bridge (where u'll see the floating NDP platform on ur left, gigantic ferris wheel on ur right).
From there, u'll head towards the direction of Bugis Junction, after passing which u'd be turning right, where u'll see an MRT station. Okay, and this is where u'll need to look out for ur green signboards.
Head towards Lavender street, then Victoria street.
Keep left, u'll see Cavan Road. Turn in, and u'll see Horne Road (and the stadium) ahead of u.
At that junction, turn right to Broadway Longhse!
In anyways, if u do manage to make ur way to the place, you'll find me beaming at u from the cash register:DD
As of today, i dont have to turn up at the stall anymore. With the blessings of Mum:)
What happened was i got really upset abt how my life in the past couple of years had very much been engineered by my mum, and yest morning i finally broke down emotionally. It was terrible; i totally dreaded the sight of my mum, wanted to run away from home, and the thought of death appealed to me. Couldnt stop crying when i reached the stall. I just felt so tired, trapped, taken for granted...overworked. Whatever she wanted me to do, i gave my best shot just so she wldnt look so weak, tired and lethargic all the time. And that made it valid for her to rely on me to run her current project. While she went on to take up another f*king new one. like wtf..??!
But anw, im back at the student care centre. I still have to work, but at least i dont work punishing hours like 11am - 3am. And kids are like angels compared to stupid dirty old uncles who give u stupid dirty looks.
So, three cheers to hissy fits!
At long, long last, there was a kind angel who took over the graveyard shift last night, so i went home before 1am this morning! Whoopies:)))
But i fell asleep on the floor after stepping into my air-coned room haha...so i woke up again at 3. Sian-_- Then i rmbered, while (finally) lying on my bed, there were many many many many reso emails to clear, so i got up and stayed up till 4 to read them. And it sucks. Like tmd... can't u just let it rest??! I cldnt be bothered following the thread anymore la.
Had smthg to look forward during work time, coz shan came with her familyyyy! Glad they liked the food!:) Pity i couldnt show her the rolly-polly chef who wants to know me better lol.
And sales today was better than last Sun's, thanks to seabasses!
Oh, and it was a pleasant surprise to find encouraging tags on my tagboard, especially when there was one tag by...myself too. haha i swear i didnt tag my own board...maybe i was sleep-walking one of those tired nights.
I am so so so so so so so so so so sleep deprived, im damn tired.
Help, sandman.
And it's been tough.
For one, i alone am doing the job (or rather, jobs) of 3 - the waitress, the cashier and the runner all rolled in one. It doesnt help that many of the customers i serve have eyes, but they don't see.
CLosely linked to this is the presence of annoyingly anal customers who bully just because i tolerate them and they know they can throw their weight around without fearing that i'll throw my dishes down and run after them with the chopper. But of course, they had better dont try too hard - im unpredictable. Worse are those *bleep* ah tiongs who bully me simply because im younger than them, and im a girl. haha...but it's funny how they chicken out like shivering worms when my mum comes to intervene.
And that *bleep bleep bleep* taxi driver who comes here every night to give me trouble over - oh no, u wont believe this - sweet and sour toufu, simply because it's all sold out by the time he comes for supper at 1am. He's a joke lah, that one. And that old uncle at the drinks stall who kicked up a hell lot of fuss because we dont serve pineapple rice in pineapple husks as in the pic on the display board. His friends at the drinks stall are nicer, altho each of them came round to my stall at different times to explain how i should understand the customers' psyche, how i should serve things in exactly the size and form of the picture on the display board, yadayada... x3 per friend. So now i've to explain to ALL customers that we dont serve pineapple rice in pineapple husks unless they order the Large ($8) one. Surprising how the more anal customers are MALE, shame on them. I call them PIMB - Pussies in Manly Boots.
Thirdly, it doesnt help that my working hours are from 11am to 3am. Oh, and i ended work at 4am for 2 consecutive days btw.
That's why every little bit of kindness, care and help that i get from friends, family and understanding customers matter to me. I've forgotten how many times my eyes watered whenever i received those supportive msgs asking me to rest more (and take more fruits:p). Naggy n redundant to some, but it's comfort for me. It's not that im being overly emo here, mind you. It's because they are a contrast to the ugly people i face everyday, to whom i've got to put on a smile for even when they turn nasty, simply because it's part of my job.
But despite all the things i've gotta endure, i dont regret doing this. Just in these few days i learnt so, so much... and these are things which u'd never know doing deskbound or teaching jobs. heck, this job is even helping me to see my flaws that've been plaguing me for so long.
Seems like im set to get more than i give.
Special Thanks to Ling for dropping by, and giving me very valuable hawker tips!!! They came in handy, dear:p
Signing out,
the Singing Hawker.