Feeling low for almost a week, but though i really have no idea why this happened, i'd like to say that im pretty much sorted out now. So not to worry, my fruity sisters=)
Much credit goes to that calming voice=)
Have been doing quite a bit of introspective thinking whenever i could; hoping to find the answers to my own questions soon. Pls bear with me if i seem dull and stoned these days ya? Im thinking=P
If you've the time for new songs, you could try listening to Jason Mraz's Beautiful Mess (links to song) on his new album. I've been putting that number on loop on my phone for a couple of days now. It has been great company for the past few mornings where i've got a gd half hr to stone before all the kids arrive n i start work at 7.3oam. Personally, i love it for the simple clean melody and the meaning behind the lyrics; that is, to love and accept another, and to see beauty even in their flaws and quirks. May seem cliche and cheesy to many, but few realise how difficult it is to do just that, much as they'd like to think they can.
I know you miss him too much because the country's taking him away from you for the next one and a half years. I understand, and i won't blame you for venting ur frustrations on me. And i know that my past behaviour has been too horrible and it has left too deep a scar for you to forget. So much so that no matter what i do to improve now, whatever improvements i've made, doesn't really matter anymore. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have made mistakes like this in the first place. Labels: trash in a dress
And im sorry that my love and talent (i hope i qualify to even say that) for singing has caused you so much displeasure. I never knew finding my worth could be so agonising for you. Although... i must say i CAN actually earn money from it if i so want to and you'd give me the encouragement to try. But that's besides the point.
With your negativity towards me (im sorry for the times i reflected that negativity back to you) I think the greatest way to convince you that i love you both is for me to leave when the country decides to return your son to you. All i hope for, is for you to find just that little time and energy left in you to start loving me again when i go away. Please, don't be angry with me anymore. I can't stand it...
oh my goodness, please just try to bear with me until the time comes.
Detox treatments are in order, so i won't keep feeling so too damn weak.
I was searching for my cert file just to look at the vo3 booklet once again, when i chanced upon a poem my dear friend Felicia copied for me while i was nursing a (minor) heartbreak back then. By putting it up here, i only hope to brighten up somebody else's day as they read my pathetic bimbo blog.:)
and the road has been too long,
And you think that love is only for the lucky
and the strong,
Just remember in the winter far beneath the snow,
lies the seed that with love in the spring,
Becomes rose.
Baby D
And of course, paedophiles stay away.
WHINE FEST PART TWO.
Apparently, the supposed viral infection that i got a couple of days back was such a powerful one, that it causes stomach flu as well. And this, only after i spent my entire Sunday throwing up, feeling lethargic and then falling into deep slp for most parts of the day. Let's just hope nothing else comes out of this, so i wont have to suffer this any longer than i should. And to a smaller extent, so i wont have to see that gp again...who could probably do with more people skills so her patients wont come out of her consultation room feeling so. darned. small and stupid.
So right after my last few days of battling with fever in the morning (and) fever all through the night, i found myself doing the merlion on a bright Sunday morning, before i was due to perform with my new friends for a charity gig at 11. (Lyndsey called up at 10am sharp, presumably to know why i wasn't there yet when i shld, and then her tone completely changed once i told her i was busy puking my guts out at hm. I thought the abrupt change was funny, somehow. lol) And once again in the evening after i took my cough syrup, which was about the most horrendous thing i've put in my mouth in ages. Might as well.
And now, after seeing the doc, i find myself with two more medicine to take - one for nausea and the other for stomach gas. Im guessing that if anything else happens after this, i probably can consider starting a mini illegal dispensary of my own selling leftover medicine to ppl too stingy with their money to visit the doctor for the common ailments. BUT BEFORE ANYONE FREAKS OUT, IM JUST KIDDING.
off to hibernate again!
Before i launch into a full-scale whine spree, would love to thank the following people for the opportunity to gig with them last Sunday: Labels: Gigs and such
Derek aka jh - for having thought of me when he heard the Rihanna song, which made him contact me to do the gig in the first place. Thank you for finding me my soul sister, Woohoo!;P
Lyndsey - for tolerating all my brainless nonsense during practs, and for being such a capable leader of a babe!
Nina - MY VERY OWN SOUL SISTER!!! Like i said, i will go bak and bisit you in the Phillipines when i finish my contract in Singapore. Woohoo!!
Louis - for your hilarious KFC tv ad. hahah! Seriously dude, you are all cut out to be a rockstar alr. Rock on!
I dunno what's the actual possibility of any of you reading my bimbotic blog, but in case you actually chanced upon this, let me say that i had more fun that i had imagined gigging with you guys - what with funny accents and doing nonsensical stuff like singing out loud along the steps leading to YIH and making ourselves heard from the busstop opposite. heh. Thank you guys for the music, and thank you for good times:)
Fell sick=(
Saw my GP and she told me it was a viral infection... so yup, i had a fever. Think it was 38++ deg if i rmb my doc correctly = s
But two angels made my day by visiting me =) My colleagues Mel and Terence came by despite me insisting that they didn't...coz i sweated alot in my slp and stank like hell, haha. Had dinner at my place, then Terence showed us pics of his diving trips. Ater seeing all his pics, im inspired to go on a diving grad trip myself! Im so thankful that these two angels came to keep me company on my otherwise lonely and lethargic evening... And im glad i made two such great, great friends =)
Shite. Just got caught red-handed for staying online for too long and too late:p Mum pulled me out of bed by the ear after she discovered I was pretending to sleep when I haven’t. Heh...bet you thought this only happened to primary school kids! The carnival gig was some fun shite…Ok, maybe not. Probably not the gig itself, coz for some reason it was difficult to focus. I sounded low-energy from what I heard through the monitors, despite my most valiant attempts to up the volume when sensibly appropriate. Sheesh. Maybe it’s been too long since I last did an outdoor gig. I actually zao sia-ed at some pt in the repertoire>_< What WAS fun tho, was all the nonsense we did after the gig. Created quite a ruckus with all that jumping and photo-taking at the park haha. I have no idea exactly how many NGs we took for the jumping shots...All I can say is we somehow managed to chalk up an amazing EIGHTY pictures in my camera in the matter of FOUR hours – that’s about one picture every three minutes...and this is not even accounting those that Charm and Edlina took in theirs 0_o And of course, how can I not mention about the board-gaming after dinner! Boss Chong and Edlina were, as usual, at their nonsensical best, only this time we’ve got Yeow joining in the fray. From the amt of noise she made in a game of Saboteur (where both of us were supposed to be a team) after I made her miss a turn and caused us both the inevitable defeat, I think she’s fitting in very well with us old birds. I expect to see her in future outings! hahaha. And for some reason, Charm appears very nicely posed in all of the candid pictures i took at the games table. Wonder why =P Derek…as usual lah, none of us – including himself – cld ever be sure of his identity i.e. good guy or Saboteur in the Saboteur game. I…don’t really know what to say about him also =PP In the treasured company of Edlina and Yeow the bombshells and all of my beloved seniors, I guess it was pretty impossible not to have so much fun =)
Haven't been able to update for quite a while, coz these days im either at the student centre working hard not to doze off while teaching or im down at school to sing - so much so singing has become my 2nd job. Without pay, sad to say.
Recently joined my friend's band to sing for a charity gig, and practs are pretty fun considering the peeps are almost as crazy as i am. Although im sure my dear old friend derek sum wld beg to differ; he's kinda regretting his decision to let me sing for this, i can tell. haha. And i love how i seem to learn a new song every week, despite the fact that the performance is next Sun and there's still another song i've never heard of that im supposed to harmonize for. (haha well done, i know.) I quite like this number by Rascal Flatts that i've heard today tho.I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up,
getting dressed,
livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
Now that the concert is over, im getting really mixed feelings inside. On one hand, im happy that i don't have to rush down for practs after work everyday (literally) anymore; on the other i miss practising with my concert grps, esp with my lovely Boogers. I spent so much time with them, had so much fun laughing at ourselves and at one another's rubbish, that it feels kinda empty now that i don't have the reason to do so anymore. The strong camaraderie was something i've never felt before in all of my performances in the past 3 yrs; and honestly, this group of brilliant, immensely talented singers and great, great friends - Derek, Wailun, ET, Cal, Z - is simply the best that i cld ever ask for. Labels: Gigs and such
To anyone of u mentioned above who may be reading this, i've said this in my fb email and i'll say it again:
And like Cal,