This concerns my future happiness. I need to choose between Mr W D.A or Mr M O.E.
The breakdown of my concerns:
Mr W has offered me the wedding ring but Mr M has not. I haven't asked the latter for it yet.
Mr W is offering a 2 yr marriage (i think. i got too excited when he proposed so i retained only about 50% of what he said over the phone) while Mr M insists it must be 3 yrs after i go through 1 yr of compulsory wife-training.
Mr W offers to teach me things that i absolutely suck at, while Mr M promises to help me improve what i can do.
With Mr W, my life will be a rough, wild ride down the path of the unknown while with Mr M i think i can expect a life of the expected (i.e. i have quite a clear idea of what kind of sh*te i can expect hereon).
Both Mr W and Mr M expects me to do housework, and everything else, so no difference there.
I am inclined to go with Mr M at this moment, but Mr W still remains in the picture all the time...
Wth...no job, headache; got job, also headache. Very evidently, the problem's with me, not my choices. KNS.
Why was i brought up to be like that anw?
They say that sometimes, life takes u by surprise by making things happen when you least expect them to.
So i turned to my study mate and asked him why. "Cest la vie," came his swift reply. "That's life."
One door slammed shut in my face this afternn and another one, which i had thought was closed to me suddenly opened right before me within the same afternn, beckoning me on. Problem now, is that behind me is also my first love returning to haunt me, beckoning me to follow my heart and go back to doing what i do best. (eew, i hate how it sounds so cliched now >.<)
So how now?
Before this everyone with the best of intentions, everything - of course including my very own rational, logical reasoning - told me to go with what i get and learn as much as i can while im at it. And just when i thought dawn has broken, guess what. The same people are starting to sing a different tune, telling me to turn back! Just what the hell is going on?
I badly need second opinions.
But i havent got the time to even think abt it now, cus to even be able to walk through any door i need to prove that im worthy to walk through it, so im just going to shove it somewhere at the back of my head until my exams are over.
On a separate note...I thought i saw someone i knew today. Was rushing back to the library after dinner, but it made me stop in my tracks just to stare at the person a moment longer, cus the resemblance was simply too strong. It turned out to be a false alarm, and as a result of that my heart might have made a little sigh as i rushed past that 'imposter'... but i guess that the fact that i didnt turn back is something i can be proud of.
Yesterday marked the last day of school for me. It's a melange of emotions that im experiencing, so i can't exactly describe how im actually feeling about it. The last few weeks of school had been hell for me cus of the deadlines - the last of which was completed only yesterday afternoon - but at the same time, i am thankful i still managed to find my little humble share of happy and funny moments amidst the academic madness.
In a similar manner, that just about reflects how i feel about school too. I am absolutely thankful and VERY RELIEVED that it is all over (for now, at least) and i can get down to catching up with my readings in preparation for exams; but at the same time, there is the sadness that comes with the knowledge that there'll be no more luxurious 3-mth vacations, no more 3-day work weeks, no more 2-hour lunchbreaks with bitchy and nonsensical people, no more loud and outrageously-funny bus and train journeys home =/
The rides home shall get oh so lonely from here on =((
To my classmates, my group mates, my Thursdays busstop gang, my Reso seniors, my juniors, mysisters, my friday lunchtime BFF, all of my batchmates who've graduated and even that person i've forgotten:
I miss you all. already. *sobs*
I know it sounds like im overreacting cus it's not as if im disappearing to timbuktu upon graduation and im never gonna see all my friends again. But what im saying is, at this moment, right now, i really miss you guys a hell lot, enough to make me blurt it all out on my blog like that. so...yup. That's all i want to say.
Off to study already.
PS: oh gawd, Cherie i feel like crying now knowing i cant do that stupid embarrassing fanatic wave on bus 95 when i randomly spot u at the busstop anymore. how crappy is that=(
Question: What do you get when you have a group of 8 people doing a cappella, vocal sounds, VP and beat-boxing together in a theatre?
Answer: THE VOCA PEOPLE.
Okay, if i've alr sent the msg to you on FB, pls bear with the gushing. I really like it alot, that's why=D But for those of you whom i didnt send that to, IM POSTING THIS UP HERE FOR YOU!
If you do a cappella or at least appreciate it, there's really no reason why you wouldn't like this. It's a medley of 21 songs, all featured within 3min15s! Tell me this isn't uber coolness in itself man. I've included the tracklist under the video, for your reference=)
Tracklist:
Intro: Era - Ameno
1. Johann Sebastian Bach - Toccata and Fugue in D minor
2. Hallelujah
3. The Entertainer
4. Chordettes - Mr. Sandman
5. Glen Miller - In The Mood
6. Elvis Presley - Tutti Frutti
7. Beach Boys - I Get Around
8. Doobie Brothers - Long Train Runnin'
9. Madonna - Holiday
10. Michael Jackson - Billie Jean
11. Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams
12. Mori Kante - Yeke Yeke
13. Nirvana - Smells like teen spirit
14. Spice Girls - If you wanna be my lover
15. Los Del Rio - La Macarena
16. Rednex - Cotton Eyed Joe
17. Britney Spears - Hit Me Baby One More Time
18. Baha Men - Who Let the Dogs Out?
19. C+C Music Factory - Gonna Make You Sweet (Everybody Dance Now)
20. Will Smith - Switch
21. Madagascar 5 vs. KK Project - I Like To Move It
Ingredients
4 tablespoons of deadlines
1 jar of impending financial tsunami
50000 tubs of worry
1000 Litres of guilt
500 job applications
250ml of non-existent Plan C, D, E, F, G...
>50 backlog of readings
2 parents at war
10 Litres of helplessness
3 dollops of face-your-reality's
Steps
1. Mix all of the ingredients together.
2. Garnish it with negativity and fatigue.
3. Serve.
... ... ...
Prof Chua was so right when he said this during lecture in the evening,
"Sometimes, the less you know, the better."
Cus it explains why im feeling more than a little suffocated and why i need something or someone to cry into right...about... now.